


GBF

by j_bc



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, GBF, M/M, Movie based, brallon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_bc/pseuds/j_bc
Summary: A closeted gay teen (Brendon Urie) wants to join the popular gals' clique, but his scheme backfires when his best friend (Dallon Weekes) is forced out of the closet instead.Based on the movie GBF, with brallon and a little bit of a different storyline. MOSTLY the same as the movie, though.One of the main points of the movie/book is the shallowness of people, and all of the stereotypes that are applied to gay people. So there's some things in here that could be offensive.





	1. Chapter 1

Ever notice how in high school, there's just something about being first? 

Like, that girl who's always first to raise her hand. Or the guy who's always the first to have every new, cutting-edge Apple product.. or the kid who owns every new style of shoes. There's just so much pressure to be a trendsetter, a pioneer... 

Well, not for Dallon. 

Dallon Weekes was just like any other average comic-book geek: more than content to fly under the radar, and leave the trailblazing to the others. After all, of the many firsts his peers were vying for, one still remained conspicuously up for grabs. Never in the history of North Gateway High had any student admitted out loud to being an honest-to-goodness, card-carrying, proud (or even slightly modest) homosexual... Including Dallon and his best friend, Brendon. 

**

"Alright, alright.. elaborate. How will being the first out kid at this school make you instantly popular and virtually famous?" Dallon asked. 

"It's simple. All the magazine writers and TV hosts agree.. the new trend sweeping through high schools worldwide is the GBF." Brendon answered his best friend, holding up a magazine printed with bright neon colors and pictures of people who were way too attractive to be real. 

"A GBF?" Sarah asked, flipping her black dyed hair over her shoulder as she leaned closer to get a better look at the article. 

"A gay best friend." Brendon said, gesturing to himself in a rather flamboyant manner. "Every celeb has one, so every teen girl needs one. And pretty soon, I'll have all three prom queen candidates practically busting down my door, battling it out for my attention." 

**

Three powerful cliques controlled North Gateway High, and the queen bitch from each ruled the school from nearly every direction. 

Caprice Winters dominated as queen of drama, all three kinds of choir, and the school's loose network of minority students. 

Then there was 'Shley Osgoode, short for "Ashley," which was about as edgy as she got. With her perpetually sunny Mormon disposition, 'Shley ruled all wearers of shiny gold crosses, and goody-two-shoes. 

But neither could hold a candle to Fawcett Brooks. By far the hottest girl in school, and empress of the rich and popular; Fawcett loved fads and hated fatties. Her trademark golden tresses had won her 'best hair' three years in a row, an unprecedented achievement... because you're supposed to be a senior to win.

Like neighboring warlords in a third-world country, they maintained an uneasy balance of power; friendly but always vigilant of anything that could upset the truce and create all-out social warfare.

**

"So, I'm thinking prom. Just for maximum effect. That way, no matter who wins king and queen, the only person anyone will remember is me! The well-dressed, cute boy who can sing, who came out in front of everyone at prom." Brendon explained as they walked out of the school. 

"Why not just send out a mass text and be done with it? Like, 'FYI, I like guys. Now let's never speak of this again!'?" Dallon suggested. 

"Dallon, you can not come out over text. That is so gay." Brendon said, rolling his eyes at his tall friend. 

"Well, you can count me out. Or, I guess.. in. In the closet. Where I'll be staying." Dallon said. 

"Ugh. How early 2000s of you. I mean, Pete is more likely to come out than you, and he's our local vagina enthusiast." Brendon said. Damn straight. Literally. 

"Look, it's not about whether or not I'm coming out. Because I am, eventually... it's just 'when'." Dallon said. "I don't necessarily want a giant coming-out show like you." 

Brendon rolled his eyes. Sarah chose this moment to speak up, "I just can't believe you'd be happy being some vapid whore's sexless accessory." She said. "GBF. A load of bullshit if you ask me." 

"And how do you even know this plan is going to work?" Dallon chimed in, his blue eyes looking down at Brendon's coffee ones as the smaller boy sighed dramatically. 

"Oh, you know I've been doing my research." He said. "Fawcett is the obvious prom-queen front runner, but since mega-hottie Hamilton Smith dumped her last week, she's vulnerable. She'll be looking for an edge. Any edge. I heard her talking to her cheerleader followers yesterday, and she's totally bummed that no one at the school is openly gay. She so wants a GBF, she's just low on resources." 

Dallon rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Okay, sure. Fawcett might fall for it. But what makes you think super-Christian 'Shley would want anything to do with a queer person?" 

Brendon smiled. "Well here's the thing: I heard her and her bible-thumping bestie talking in the library, and she's totally down for it. I mean, sure, maybe she thinks she can convert me to.. non-gayism, but.. she's totally here for the idea of a GBF. She even said it'd be cool to meet a 'real, live gay!'." 

"Alright, so.. what about Caprice?" 

"Oh, please." Brendon said, waving an arm dramatically. "Caprice lives for being the center of attention. You saw her mostly plagiarized version of Mean Girls the Musical last year, right? She wants the spotlight on her. Not to mention she's all about minorities. She needs a gay counterpart to help her on her way to iconic diva-dom. Once she catches on, she'll be all over me too." 

Dallon let out a laugh. "Well, I only hope everything goes according to plan. You won't forget about us when you're in your new social stratosphere, will you?" He asked, pulling out his phone. 

"No promises.. is that the new one!?" Brendon exclaimed, grabbing for Dallon's new iPhone. "We are so donloading grindr!" 

"What the hell is grindr?" Sarah asked. 

"Some gay hook-up app that lets gay guys find other gay guys." Pete said, as he walked up to their group. "I only know because Brendon tried to download it on my phone, too." 

"Yeah, and super-hetero buzkill over here totally cockblocked me!" Brendon exclaimed. 

"I'm not soiling my pristine phone with some slutty gay hookup app." Dallon said. 

"Dal, we aren't gonna do anything! We're just gonna.. find out if there's any gay guys near us.. and exactly how many cubic feet away they are. It's science! And it's about to change. Our. Lives." Brendon pleaded. 

And it was, really. But not in the way they were expecting. Little did they know, that just inside the school building, a meeting was being held for the school's gay/straight alliance program. 

Except, there was a bit of a problem: no gay members.

"Mrs. Hogel, just because we don't have an actual gay member doesn't mean-" 

"I'm sorry, Melanie, but the school board was clear." 

"Oh, come on! This club is all I have! I mean, what if Haley here came out as a lesbian?" Melanie argued. 

"Hey! I'm strictly dickly, yo." Haley assured. 

"Just give me a few weeks, Mrs. H, and I promise, I'll find a real, live gay for our club! Even if I had to drag them out of the closet myself!" Melanie said. 

"No, I don't want you performing some gay witch-hunt. Is this really for the gay kids, or is it all for yourself?" Mrs. Hogel asked. 

"All for the queers!" 

Mrs. Hogel sighed. "One week." She said. 

**

"The WiFi password is 'lio'." Brendon said, running through the front door and up the stairs to his room with Dallon right behind him.

"Oh hey, guys! Where's the fire?" Brendon's mom asked, poking her head out of the kitchen with a kind smile. 

"Oh, uh, hi mom! We just got this really tough, uh.. math assignment. We're gonna go work on it now." Brendon said, a nervous smile on his face. 

"Oh. Math." Ms. Urie said, a knowing look across her features. 

"It's gonna be.. a really tough nut to bust. TTYL!" Brendon said, rushing up the stairs with Dallon still following. "Bye, Ms. Urie!" The taller boy said. 

"Oh, okay.. be safe! With your 'math'." Ms. Urie said softly, raising her eyebrows and going back to the kitchen. 

"Dude, your mom totally knows you're gay and also thinks were doing it." Dallon said, flopping onto Brendon's bed. "Why don't you just tell her?"

"Oh, she's so smug. Dropping her little hints. I'm not gonna give her the satisfaction." Brendon scoffed. "Maybe if she ever gets the balls to ask me.." 

"Maybe she's just respecting your privacy." Dallon inturrupted, looking up at Brendon who had taken a seat in the rolling chair in front of his vanity. 

"She wants to milk this for all the gossip it's worth. Trust me, I am her son." Brendon insisted, turning on his stereo, which played some sort of upbeat music that Dallon rolled his eyes at.

"Do we have to listen to this heinous pop-dance crap?" The taller boy asked. 

"Oh shut up, you know you love it." Brendon said, dancing dramatically and singing the lyrics, grabbing Dallon's hands and pulling him up to dance as well. 

Dallon giggled and allowed Brendon to pull him around the room as the smaller boy bounced around to the rhythm. 

"Knock knock!" They heard from the door, and Ms. Urie was opening it, with her hands over her eyes. 

"What? What do you want, mom?" Brendon asked. 

"Everybody decent?" She asked, keeping her eyes covered. 

"Wha- yes, mom, everybody's decent!" Brendon said, his hands on his hips. 

"Aright, just checking!" Ms. Urie said, moving her hand and starting to somewhat awkwardly dance to the beat. "Oh, OMG this is my jam!" She exclaimed, and Brendon rolled his eyes. 

"Alright, well this dance party is invitation only, so I'm gonna have to ask you to-" 

"I'm just coming up to say, that I won't be coming up here again for at leat an hour!" Ms. Urie said, winking. "Relax, do your thing.. I'm good with it!" 

"Oh my god, alright, thanks mom!" Brendon said sarcastically. 

His mom smiled as she left, closing the door behind her. 

"Alright, now that we've banished the beast.. let's find us some mens!" Brendon said, grabbing Dallon's phone from the taller boy's pocket and flopping onto the bed. Dallon sat on the chair. 

"What if we see someone we know on there, or someone finds my phone! It's my ass on the line." Dallon complained in a last-resort effort to get Brendon to change his mind about the man hunt. 

"Dally, please, if I don't at least get my makeout on before college, I'll be playing sexual catch-up for years!" Brendon begged. "I just need to know if there are any other gay guys out there! You know, that aren't.. you. No offense." 

Dallon rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. But we're gonna need a profile picture." 

Brendon pulled his shirt up, flexing his muscles. "Here, take a picture of my abs!" He said. 

Dallon snapped the picture of Brendon's semi-toned torso, and the smaller boy grabbed Dallon's arm and jerked him onto the bed too, so he could look on as Dallon set up the profile. 

**

They had little luck chatting up guys on grindr that night, but the next day.. Melanie and her swarm of fruit flies were planning to put the app to much better use.


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah stood quietly smoking a cigarette in the bathroom stall when Melanie and her posse walked in, chattering up a storm. Usually Sarah didn't eavesdrop, but she couldn't help but overhear their conversation. 

"Okay, somewhere in this school, there is an undercover gay using this app to hookup with other undercover gays. We have to find him, for the sake of the GSA!" Melanie chirped, and the other girls with her agreed. 

"Now, we've all set up out fake accounts, right?" She asked, and her friends all gave an affirmative answer. "Great! Let the manhunt begin!"

"Shit!" Sarah mumbled as they left, and she pulled out her phone to call Dallon and warn him. 

**

Dallon was doing his best to pay attention in biology, taking notes and watching the teacher draw on the board. However, when his phone vibrated in his pocket, he finally had an excuse to be distracted. He tried pulling it out sneakily, but before he even got the chance to see who was calling him, Mr. Receding Hairline yelled his name from the front of the classroom. 

"Dallon! Hand it over. You'll get it back at the end of the day." 

Dallon sighed and handed the phone to his teacher, who put it in his desk drawer. 

**

When the school day finally ended, Dallon made the trudge back to his biology class, where his phone sat waiting. 

He was intercepted, however, by Brendon, Pete, and Sarah. 

"Dallon, quick! Give me your phone!" 

"Jeez, Brendon, you're obsessed with that stupid app!" Dallon said, exasperated.

"No, you don't get it." Sarah said. "Melanie and her pussy posse are using grindr to track gay guys at the school!"

"Oh my god Mr. Smith took my phone in second period, it's still logged on!" Dallon said. He turned to Brendon and grabbed the boy's arm, pulling him towards the stairs. "I am not taking the fall for this! Time for the big, dramatic coming out you've always wanted!" 

"W-wait, no, no, no.. no, I- prom is months away, this isn't how I planned it.." Brendon pleaded as Dallon dragged him in the direction of Mr. Smith's room. 

**

"The signal is coming from this room!"  Melanie said, pushing open Mr. Smith's door to reveal a class of a few students who were still packing their things, and a confused looking teacher at the front of the room. 

"From.. the front of the room." The group of girls followed the signal on the phone to Mr. Smith's desk. 

"Mr. Smith? But.. you're married to a woman! And these are clearly not your hairless abs. False advertising." 

**

Dallon hardly noticed when Brendon slipped from his grasp as they turned the corner. He was to intent on getting his phone back, he didn't even hear Sarah trying to talk him out of bursting into the classroom before he had already thrown the door open, yelling Mr. Smith's name. 

"This is your phone!" The teacher said, and the group of girls at the front of the room, along with the others in the class, turned to look at Dallon. 

"So.. you're the secret gay! But, you're not even that fabulous." Melanie said, squinting her eyes at Dallon.

"I- I.. I guess I am. Not fabulous, I mean, but.. gay. Yeah, uh, I'm gay, I.. guess." Dallon stammered, intimidated by all of the eyes (one pair being 'Shley's) that were focused on him. 

"Oh, yay! We got one! Our very own homosexual!" Melanie and her friends cheered. "Tweet this right now! Put it on you story!" 

The girls all posted things to their various social media accounts as everyone stood kind of shocked; Dallon most of all. 

**

Dallon did his best to ignore all the looks he was receiving as he left the school building. People looking at their phones and then pointing to him, people giggling. 

"What are you looking at, fag-off?" 

Dallon was suddenly face to face with Hamilton Smith, the quarterback of the football team, and his group of beefed up bozos. 

"What, are you.. what are checking out my.. balls? What, are you checking out my balls?" Hamilton said, an angry look on his face. 

Dallon's confused expression only angered the quarterback more, and he shoved the taller boy, just as Melanie came came around the corner, followed by Sarah. 

"Wait! Leave him alone, he's my friend!" Melanie said.

"Oh, fuck off, desperate psycho-bitch!" Sarah said, and Melanie looked taken aback. 

"That was mean!" She gasped, as Sarah rolled her eyes, and soon they were arguing, and everyone was loud and laughing...  

**

He couldn't belive it. He'd been so careful for seventeen years! He'd learned to clean the browser history when he was eleven! And one stupid slip-up, had cost him everything. 

And he had one person to thank. 

Dallon pounded on Brendon's front door, angry tears in his eyes. 

The door opened slowly, revealing a nervous looking Brendon. "Hey, gurl, hey..." he said, hesitantly.  

"Hey? Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Dallon spat. 

"I- I'm sorry, it all happened so fast, I, I freaked, and-" 

"You were the one who wanted to come out!" Dallon yelled, not caring who heard. "I can't believe you let me take the fall!" 

"Shh.. please." Brendon said, casting a nervous look inside his home, in the direction of his mother. He spoke quietly, "Maybe you can turn this around, say it was just a big joke-" 

"I can't 'no homo' this, Brendon!" Dallon exclaimed. "I'm basically a dead man, and what gets me? Is you're the Queeny one! The least you could do is come out too, and take your share of the daily beatings!" 

"I can't." Brendon said. Dallon scoffed. 

"It would be pathetic, like I'm copying you!" Brendon explained. 

"You know what?" Dallon spat. "I blame myself. All I ever do is go with the flow, your flow 99% of the time."

"Oh, please, Dallon. We both know you love being the sidekick."

"Oh. So, I'm the sidekick? Wow." Dallon cried, ignoring Brendon's mom, who had appeared behind Brendon in the doorway. "Well, at least now I realize all you care about is yourself, you self-absorbed, gutless little faggot!" 

"Dallon Weekes!" Ms. Urie exclaimed. 

"Christ, Dallon, I said I'm sorry!" Brendon whispered, tears in his own eyes as well now. 

"Sorry, Ms. Urie. But I'm allowed to use that word, seeing as how I am one..." Dallon said. "Just like your son." 

He ignored the look on Ms. Urie's face, her features softening. 

"Dallon, you had no right." Brendon muttered. 

"Oh, what do you care? You know she knows." Dallon said, spinning around and heading in the direction of his house, turning his back on Brendon.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a total dick move, and Dallon immediately regretted it, but it was too late. Like Lex Luthor and Clark Kent or Professor X and Magneto, Brendon and Dallon went from best friends to archenemies in a matter of seconds.

Dallon wiped his face and hoped he didn't look like he'd been crying, before opening the door to his house and walking up the stairs, doing his best to ignore his dad and stepmom who were on the couch. 

Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky. "Hi, Dallon. How was school today, Honey?" Shannon asked, smiling. 

"Uh, hi Shannon, Dad.. it was uneventful. Lacking events. Why, you didn't hear anything did you?" Dallon answered. 

"No, what would we have heard?" Dallon's dad asked. 

"Nothing, of course because of the whole.. nothing, thing.." Dallon said. 

"Well, I made some Popsicles, they're in the freezer, if you're hungry." Shannon said. 

"Ooh, I hope you made them extra thick and fruity, just the way Dallon likes them!" Dallon's dad said. 

"What?" Dallon exclaimed. "Uh, I mean.. right. Thanks for.. freezing juice on a stick for me, Shannon. But I'm good." He hurried up to his bedroom. 

**

The next day, Dallon tried to keep an even lower profile than usual. But his power to go unnoticed had been  completely neutralized with the new public discovery of his sexuality. 

"Hey, remember me?" Sarah asked, walking up to Dallon as he made his way into the school building. 

"Oh hey, Sarah.. uh, sorry I haven't texted slash called you but I've just been really overwhelmed with what's been going on." Dallon explained. 

"Yeah, yeah.. look, I know you're pissed at Brendon, and honestly I would be too, but.. what he did was an accident. What you did with his mom-" 

"Woah, okay." Dallon inturrupted. "Of all people, I never expected you to take his side. He outed me to the entire school. And plus, his mom already knew." 

"But it wasn't your place to confirm it." Sarah insisted, a sharp edge to her voice that Dallon only heard when she was extremely annoyed. 

"You know what, Sarah? I have bigger things to worry about than Brendon's psycho mama-drama!" Dallon said, turning away and walking through the courtyard. 

"Well, hey, there, Dweekes!" Hamilton was suddenly shoving Dallon into the brick wall. Dallon's height was no match for the quarterback's muscles. "You know, I used to think you were a little fag. I didn't realize you were actually a full-fledged homo!"

"That doesn't even.. make sense." Dallon managed, his eyes wide. 

"Oh, yeah?" Hamilton said, getting amused looks from his football friends.  "Oh, yeah? You calling me stupid? You calling me stupid and gay?"

"Hamilton, take your hands off him." Fawcett appeared, an annoyed look on her face. 

"Back off, babe. We're history, Which means you don't tell me what to do anymore." Hamilton said, his hands still holding Dallon to the wall as he looked at Fawcett.

"History... now, that's an appropriate word, because that's what your sex life is gonna be if you don't leave him alone. After all, I know things..." Fawcett said, and held up her pinky finger. "Tiny, little, pinky-sized details. Touch him again, and you won't be able to get as much as a half-ass handjob from some flag-twirling color guard skank." 

"Bitch, you wouldn't dare." Hamilton said, his eyes narrowing. 

"Try me."

Hamilton let Dallon go with a frustrated sound, and stomped off with his friends. 

"You okay, babes?" Fawcett asked Dallon. 

"I'm... fine."

"I'm Fawcett." The girl said, smiling and twirling her blonde, curled locks around her fingers. 

"Yeah, I know." Dallon said, raising his eyebrows. 

"You doing anything after school? Want to go sip extra-large low-fat iced coffees and talk shit about people?" Fawcett said, a friendly-looking smile on her lips.

"Hey, there, you. I like coffee, too. I'll come with." Caprice seemed to materialize out of thin air, her smiling face and dark skin even more beautiful in the sunlight. 

"Ooh! I like decaf." 'Shley was there now too, smiling. 

"How nice for you both." Fawcett said sarcastically, earning a look from Caprice, while the tone went right over 'Shley's head. 

"Well, uh, we could all go together?" Dallon suggested, a little overwhelmed. 

"Fine." Fawcett said. 

"Whatevs." Caprice.

"Let's." 'Shley. 

**  
"So..." Dallon said, feeling very awkward as he sat next to the three most popular girls at the school at their local coffee shop.

"So, you're a gay now." Fawcett said, smirking. 

"Uh, not now. I mean, I've always been. Just now everybody knows." Dallon said, laughing nervously as he sipped his small frappe, his long arms and legs seeming all the more awkward as he was placed next to the three most beautiful people at North Gateway.

"Are you gonna audition for the spring musical? 'Cause we're doing 'The Wiz', and we're gonna need, like, as many minorities as we can get." Caprice said, a smile on her face. 

"I'm not much for the whole singing, or dancing, or... being onstage thing." Dallon said, a little embarrassed. He actually did play bass and he liked to sing, but the only person who had ever seen him do that was Brendon. 

Ugh. Brendon. 

"You sure you're a 'mo?" Caprice said, and it took Dallon a second to realize that that was short for 'homo'. "What gay stuff do you, like, like?"

"Um, I'm into comics." Dallon offered, his hair falling in his face a little as he smiled. He thought about how every time his hair fell like that, Brendon would brush it back. 

Ugh. Brendon.

"Like Kathy griffin? She's Hilar." Fawcett said. 

"Uh, no, like comic books." Dallon answered. 

"That's not gay. That's just lame." Fawcett deadpanned, curling her nose up. "You don't even sound like the ones on Bravo. Say the word 'fierce.'." 

"Yeah, I don't really say that word." Dallon said. He was amazed by how many stereotypes were embedded into these girls' brains.

"Oh.. well, maybe it's like Caprice. I mean, she's black, but she doesn't talk like them." 'Shley said, an innocent smile on her face. 

"Excuse me?" Caprice said with an attitude, her 'ghetto' voice making an appearance. 

"Well, not all the time." 'Shley offered.

"Yeah, Ashley, it's like when we call you a 'Mormon', but forget the second 'M'!" Fawcett said, and 'Shley made a confused face before Fawcett continued.

"Anyway, what about those other losers you eat lunch with? They seem way gayer than you." She said. 

"Oh, no, no, no, no. I heard Brendon is like, super hetero. That's why they're all fighting. That Pete, though... he is way too cute to be straight." Ashley said. 

"Uh, Pete is so not gay. Trust me. I would know 'cause I've got that gaydar thing, right?" Dallon said. 

"But even that Sarah girl... she's always seemed like a mucho muncher supreme to me." Fawcett said. 

"I don't think so. I mean, she hates all the guys at this school, but she hates all the girls, too." Dallon responded, smiling. Sarah was her own person, honestly. 

"Well, Tanner, I just want you to know that I'm totally fine with your homosexiness." Ashley said, earning eye rolls from the other girls. "I mean, it is a sin and all, but we Mormons pretty much think everything's a sin, including those caffeinated beverages you guys are sucking down right now. So, if you're all gonna burn in hell for an eternity, you may as well have a nice time being all queer and stuff while you're here!" 

"Well, that's at least consistent of you, 'Shley." Dallon offered.

"I have an amazeballs idea. This Saturday, why don't you and me come back here, and we can totally gay you over?" Fawcett suggested, smiling and grabbing at Dallon's arm.

"Oh, and I know all the stylists at heroine salon." Caprice said. "I'm sure they can give you something... butchy and Rihanna-esque."

"I think he just needs a trim, sweetie, not a full-blown weave." Fawcett smarted at Caprice.

"These are clips, boo." Caprice countered. 

"Um, I-I have a gift card to banana republic that's half full!" Ashley chimed in.

"Well, perf. I guess we'll see you both there." Fawcett said, rolling her eyes. 

Dallon was a little overwhelmed at being the center of all this competition. He'd never had people fighting over him before, not even the few friends he had wanted his attention that much. But it didn't seem that bad, plus this was the only way to stay safe from all the jocks who wanted his gay head on a stick.


	4. Chapter 4

That weekend, Dallon figured out that if he was going to accept the protection of the 'in' crowd, then he had some catching up to do. His texts-per-minute average was subpar, and he had about two hundred unacceptable tagged photos on Facebook. 

"Ugh, detag." 

"Fat face! Detag." 

"Ew! Detag, and block that bitch!" 

He was having a hard time keeping up with all the comments the girls were making. Sure, he knew what they meant, but.. it all just happened so fast. One second he was holding one outfit, and the next, the entire store was in his arms. 

It was like a full makeover montage moment, and all Dallon could think about was how much Brendon would have been living for every moment of it. Brendon was super into this stuff; the whole fashion-obsessed part of being gay must have skipped over Dallon and gone straight to Brendon. 

He sat on the chair in the dressing room as Caprice waited outside, his skin-tight purple jeans almost cutting off his circulation as he pulled his phone out an opened Brendon's contact, typing up a text. 

Hey dude, miss you. Sorry about what happened. 

He sighed and backspaced all of it, running his fingers through his hair and putting his phone down. He stood up and checked himself in the mirror, honestly sort of liking the sparkly and colorful looks that Caprice had picked out. He opened the door and stepped out so Caprice could see. 

"Yes, you look great!" She exclaimed, smiling and shoving another bundle of clothes into his arms for him to try. 

This process was repeated with the two other girls as well, with slightly different styles of clothing. Fawcett's were more expensive and classy, Ashley's were all khakis and bowties, and Caprice's were all flashy and sparkly things. He couldn't say he entirely hated any of them, honestly. They all looked pretty good. 

**

"So, any of you guys speak to Dickwad.. I mean, Dallon.. this weekend?" Brendon asked Pete and Sarah as they sat together on the same bench inside the lobby that they always did. 

"No, actually, I called him like fifty times and no answer. You two really need to work it out." Sarah said. "I mean, it's like-"

"Uh, ladies?" Pete said, cutting her off and nodding in the direction of the hallway. 

They looked up and watched as the three musketeers of bitchiness walked through the lobby, now with a new member. Dallon.

He was sporting a new haircut; short on the sides and long on the top. He had on a black and gray dress shirt with a bright bowtie, and skin tight purple jeans. And sunglasses. Inside. 

"Oh my god, he united them. I can't belive this." Brendon said as the clique walked through. 

"I can't believe how tight his pants are." Sarah said. "And is he wearing bronzer?" 

"He really is tall, dark and handsome now." Pete said. 

Brendon made sort of a strangled noise and covered his face with his hands. 

**

Before, Dallon could move though the school unnoticed, invisible. 

But as the GBF? He was basically bulletproof. And they view of Topher, Ashley's hot Mormon boyfriend, wasn't too bad either. For once, he was actually enjoying the spotlight. 

**

Sarah and Pete sat on the couch in Brendon's room while the small boy lied on his bed with messy hair and pajamas on, and depressing emo music playing. 

"I mean, I get that he's mad at me, but.. how could he do this?" Brendon said.

"Dallon's just doing his best not to get his ass kicked. I mean, aren't we all?" Sarah offered. 

"I'm not letting him off that easy." Brendon insisted. "This literally cannot get any worse." 

"Actually, yes it can." Pete said, pulling out his phone to show them a picture. "Dallon's frontrunner for prom king this year, according to what Fawcett posted on instagram." 

Brendon let out a frustrated yell, and Sarah rolled her eyes. "What pisses me off is the hypocrisy and sexism of it all. If I were to come out as a lesbian, would I be first up to be prom queen? I think not!" She complained. 

Brendon just let out another yell into his pillow. 

**

Fawcett handed a poster over to Dallon, one that was printed with a picture of him along with 'Prom King Frontrunner!' On it. 

"This has got to be a joke." He said. 

"Oh, it's no joke." Fawcett said. "You've pretty much got it on lock." 

"You've got all our votes." Caprice said. "And the votes of all our minions and cliques. And everyone likes to cheer for the underdog." 

"As for queen, they've got us tied up in a three-way." Fawcett said. "A tie, that is." 

The other two girls made a face.

"Most people are undecided. They're waiting for you to tell them what to think." Caprice said. 

"Me?" Dallon asked, stunned. 

"Obvi. Everyone knows homos are the best at knowing what's hot and what's not." Fawcett said. 

"On a completely unrelated note, I made you a batch of my famous brownies last night!" 'Shley said, smiling and handing a box over to Dallon. 

"'Shley, are you special? Gays don't do carbs!" Caprice said, grabbing the box and dropping it into the trash can as they passed it. 

"Yeah, carbs to gays are like sunlight to vampires!" Fawcett said. 

Dallon honestly wouldn't have minded some brownies. He found out that he didn't actually fit into all these gay stereotypes, and he wasn't sure how that made him feel. I mean, even Brendon ate carbs. 

Brendon. 

**

"So, I was maybe thinking we could hang out after school today, just me and you." Fawcett said in English, sitting on Dallon's desk. 

"Would the others be okay with that?" Dallon asked. 

"Who cares?" Fawcett said. 

"Psst, hey!" Dallon heard, and he turned to see Melanie sitting in the desk behind him. 

"Hey, remember me? Melanie. So, uh, we're having a GSA meeting after school and I was wondering-" 

"He doesn't want to join your little fag-hag training club." Fawcett said. 

"That is a highly offensive term." Melanie said. 

"I mean, Melanie, you did kinda out me to the entire school." Dallon reasoned. 

"Think of all the other kids who are gay, and just too scared to come out!" Melanie said. 

"That's-" Dallon looked up at Fawcett, who shook her head. "Not my problem." He finished, earning a smile from the girl perched on his desk. 

Melanie just rolled her eyes and went back to packing her things. 

**

"So we heard that Fawcett snatched you up for herself after school today." Caprice said as soon as Dallon passed her and Ashley outside after school. 

"Word travels fast." Dallon said, a little surprised. 

"Well, if that's how we're playing it. I'm calling you after school on Friday for one-on-one audition prep. We're gonna turn the shiz out of The Wiz." 

"And I'm calling you Thursday, me and Topher can cook you din-din!" Ashley chirped. 

So Fawcett had made her move, but the other queens weren't going down without a fight. 

"And then Friday night is Cameron's party, and we're all going. Including 'Shley, for some reason." Caprice said.

"Yep!" Ashley said with a smile. "I'm bringing enough nonalcoholic and caffeine free ginger ale for everyone!" 

"I guess my week is all booked up, then." Dallon said. 

"Yep, we got you booked, bitch. Bam!" Caprice said. 

**

"Wow, this really works. Or did you prefer the other one?" Fawcett asked, smiling over her shoulder at Dallon, who sat on her bed while she stood in front of her mirror, trying on another shirt.

"I'm really not very good at this." Dallon said. "I mean, you saw my sense of style before the three of you helped me pick out those new clothes."

Dallon, I don't actually think That gays have a heightened sense of fashion. I'm just asking you to look at two options And choose the one you prefer." Fawcett said, walking over to where Dallon sat. 

"I like the one from before. Those kind of give you '90s mom ass." Dallon said, smirking up at Fawcett. 

"Ah, thank you! That is just the kind of bitchy gay insight I'm looking for." She said, smiling and spinning around before falling onto the bed next to Dallon. 

"So, the bitchier I am, the more you'll like me? That won't be hard." 

"Exactly." Fawcett answered. "But don't push it."

"You sure have a lot of stuff." Dallon said, looking around the girl's room at all of her clothes and accessories, not to mention posters and jewelry and perfume, etc. 

"I know. Don't you love? I kind of have a thing for labels... Chanel, Versace..." She said, and pointed at Dallon. "Gay... fiercely fabulous. That's kind of like your new comic strips."

"Books." Dallon corrected. 

"Whatevs. I'd much rather say hello to a new handbag than a friend or boyfriend. And they're much easier to return." Fawcett said, smiling. 

"Is that why you and Hamilton broke up?"

"Now, he is someone who doesn't understand the value of a label. Somehow me being his "girlfriend" meant the whole cheerleading squad suddenly became his own personal hookup harem." Fawcett said, frowning for a second.

"Gross." Dallon mumbled. 

"But now I've got you, bitch. Seriously, though. I feel like I can be myself around you, you know? You're not trying to screw me like a guy, or being threatened by me like every girl in school." The blonde said, smiling again and sitting up next to Dallon.

"I guess that's the appeal of this whole GBF thing. Not sure what I get out of it." Dallon said softly. 

"Duh... you get to hang out with me." 

Dallon giggled a little, smiling at Fawcett who actually didn't seem that bad anymore. 

"Okay, um... I could help you with your chemistry homework. You're getting a C, right? Mm. I'm actually kind of brills when it comes to science-y stuff." Fawcett said, hopping off of the bed. 

"Really?" Dallon asked, getting up as well when she motioned for him to do so. 

"Can you keep a secret? My hair is only 99.9% flawless. I mix all of my own hair serums and conditioners in here. I'll have my own hair-care line one day on, like, QVC or something, finally make it big." She said, smiling as she opened the bathroom door to reveal what looked like a laboratory, filled with different colored serums and bottles. 

That's when Dallon realized Fawcett was more than just popular. She was actually kind of cool. 

"Conversions. This is easy." She said, sitting down on the bed where Dallon had his chemistry homework open.


	5. Chapter 5

"I know you and Dallon had a falling out, but you're taking it kind of literally." Sarah said, sitting criss-cross on Brendon's couch.

"Yeah, well, my life is over. So, thanks." The boy said. 

"Oh, come on, man. I mean, you still got the two of us." Pete offered, smiling.

"For about 10 minutes. I never RSVP-ed to a nonstop pity party." Sarah smarted, rolling her eyes. 

"So, I'm bound to eternity in Loserland with you two. Great." Brendon complained. 

"That's a little harsh." Pete said.

"And here I thought we were all doing pretty okay, but I guess we aren't sparkly enough, or have enough synthetic hair extensions for you." Sarah said, raising her voice a little. 

"Oh, my god, Sarah. You know what I meant." Brendon tried, but he knew it was probably too late.

"No. You know what? Why don't we take a few days apart, maybe without a couple losers like us hanging around, you'll ascend to your proper social station. Just be careful, though, because we might not be here to bandage you up next time you fall." Sarah said, standing up.  "Come on, Pete." She said, and he stood up and followed her out. 

"Sarah!" Brendon cried.

"Um, yeah. Take it easy, bro." Pete mumbled before leaving the room.

"Pete. Come on. We were gonna watch The Voice." Brendon said, but was left to sigh sadly once both of his friends had gone. 

**

As the wheels seemed to be coming off Dallon's old friend group, the next day, he was third-wheeling it. Mormon-style.

"Wow, this is a whole lot of meat, 'Shley." Dallon said, looking at the table full of literally nothing but chicken, ham, sausage and steak. 

"Well, that's what you like, isn't it? Meat." Topher said, sending a suggestive smile Dallon's way that had the lanky boy squirming awkwardly.

"Huh?" Dallon said lamely, as Topher put another sausage on his plate.

"No carbs! I remembered." Ashley said with a smile.

"Oh, right. Uh, mmm, meats with... sides of meats. Um, may I use the restroom?"

"Yeah, right around the corner." Ashley said. Dallon stood and hurried to the bathroom, glancing at himself in the mirror before walking to the toilet. Just as he was unzipping his pants though, there was Ashley, opening the door.

"Whoa! What are you doing?!" He exclaimed, zipping his pants back up and turning to face the girl who was now sitting on the counter top.

"Girl-talk time. So, what do you think?" She said, a cute little smile on her cute face. 

"Think about what?" He asked. 

"Topher! Do you think he's bored with our relationship? I feel like he's bored." Ashley said.

"Um, I don't know." Dallon said, and he didn't. He'd never been in a relationship.

"I'm worried because we don't, you know... so I need some tips." She said. 

"Tips?" Dallon asked, looking confused.

"You gays are supposed to be experts in man pleasing. So, spill." She said. 

"Uh..."

"Do you think I should give him a BJ?" She went on.

"A what?!"

"Or an HJ? Or how about an RJ?" She continued, looking thoughtful. 

"Uh... I don't even know What an RJ could possibly be." Dallon said.

"Ugh. Me neither. I was hoping you would." Ashley said. 

"Are Mormons even allowed to..."

"What about backdoor?" She inturrupted him.

"Oh, my god!" Dallon yelled. 

"Dallon, honey! Please do not take the lord's name in vain in my house." 

"I'm sorry. I actually did have to pee. Could we, uh, talk later?" Dallon said, smiling in what he hoped was a nice way as he ushered her out of the room.

"Fine, but you owe me girl-talk time, mister, okay?" Ashley said, and Dallon nodded as he closed the door.

**

"Oh, Dallon, I am so, so sorry. Topher just reminded me I have a junior republicans meeting in like 20 minutes. Do you mind if Tophie takes you home?" Ashley said when Dallon returned to the table from the bathroom. He looked over at Topher, who winked at him.

"Um, s-sure, I guess." He said. 

About fifteen minutes into their drive home, Topher pulled the car to the side of the road. 

"Topher, this isn't my house." Dallon said, looking over at the other boy.

"I know. I just wanted to talk." Topher said.

"Okay." Dallon mumbled.

"You know, I've caught you checking me out." Topher said, smirking at Dallon.

"Please don't beat me up! I'm so sorry! It won't happen again!" Dallon said, blushing and leaning towards the car door in case he had to make a run for it.

"Whoa, dude. Whew! Relax. I find it kind of flattering. So, what do you like most about me, huh? What's my sexiest quality?" Topher asked, smiling at Dallon.

"Oh, I get it." Dallon said, rolling his eyes. "You're one of those straight guys who likes to flirt with gay guys for your own amusement." 

"No, Dallon, that's actually not-" 

"You know what? Contrary to what you might believe, we homos don't all sit around pining for straight boys, okay? Some of us like the idea of a guy actually being turned on by us." Dallon said, his voice raised. And he would have went on, too, if Topher wouldn't have grabbed his hand and pulled it to the crotch of his pressed khaki shorts.

"Does this feel straight to you?" Topher said, smirking at Dallon as the taller boy blushed. Then suddenly Topher was kissing him. Part of Dallon wanted to let it happen, because Topher was hot, after all. But most of him was freaking out, so he pulled away.

"You Mormons are a horny, repressed people!" He exclaimed.

"You have no idea." Topher said, pressing their mouths together again. 

"Mnh! Wait! This is wrong. You're with 'Shley." Dallon said, desperately. 

"Dude, in two years, I'm gonna go on my mission. In four years, I'll probably be married with a bunch of redheaded rugrats running around. So, why don't you just sit back..." He pressed a kiss to Dallon's neck. "Relax..." He kissed Dallon's lips. "And let me get this out of my system?"

Topher pressed their lips together again, and Dallon had no choice but to reach behind himself and pull open the car door, letting himself fall out of the vehicle and onto the sidewalk.

"Ooh. You okay?" Topher asked.

"Uh, t-thanks. I'll walk!" Dallon said, ignoring the tightness in his pants as he stumbled away, slamming the car door shut behind him.

**

"So, I have some news for you. It's pretty big." Caprice said, as they walked out of the auditorium after an almost painful hour of play practice.

"What?" Dallon asked.

"I may have snatched you a prom date. His name is Christian. He went to theater camp with me last summer. He's a tenor, a college boy, and he's British. Love it?" She asked. 

"He sounds great. I'm just not sure if this whole prom thing is for me." Dallon said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Okay. You're losing yourself. Come with mama." Caprice said, leading Dallon by the arm to the front lobby, where a case of trophies and pictures of all of the prom kings and queens since the 80s were.

"Take a look, Dally. This is every prom king and queen since 1983. You notice anything?" Caprice asked.

"Not the most diverse selection." Dallon offered.

"Huh. All white, all straight, all jocks and pom-pom wranglers. Dallon, we could be the ones to change all that. You could be the first openly gay prom king, and enjoy a hot date to boot.. and I can be the first queen who's actually deserving of any notoriety. So, what do you say? I get you laid, you get me crowned. You can lose that virginity before you snatch up that diploma." Caprice explained, smiling.

"Caprice, just because you know another gay guy doesn't mean I..." Dallon began, only to stop when Caprice pulled up a picture of Christian on her phone. "Whoa! He's... very attractive. Those lips!" 

"Mm-hmm. That's what we call some high-speed DSLs. So?" Caprice said. 

"I'll... think about it." Dallon said.

"Perf! I'm gonna invite him to Cameron's tonight, so you two can get to know each other." She said.

"Crap. I forgot that was tonight." Dallon said.

"Oh, relax. It's gonna be V low-key." Caprice assured. 

**

"Everyone can relax. The people who matter have arrived!" Fawcett announced as she and Dallon, along with Caprice and Ashley, opened the door to Cameron's house. Which was full of people, and also surrounded by people. So much for lowkey.

"I'm gonna go see if Christian's here." Caprice said.

"Ooh, there are Christians here?" Ashley asked.

"Get your gay game face on. After tonight, you'll have the prom date of your dreams." Caprice said as she left. 

"Oh, so, Caprice reeled you in some man-gina, huh? Well played." Fawcett said.

"I guess. I mean, I don't even know if he'll like me." Dallon said, self conciously. 

"Sounds like you need some liquid courage. Follow me." Fawcett said, leading Dallon to the kitchen.

**

Brendon sat on the couch next to his mom, who had just plopped down with a bowl of popcorn.

"Come on, you call this an ensemble? Get it together, girl!" Ms. Urie said, poking fun at Brendon's pajamas as she sat down.

"Do not call me that." Brendon deadpanned.

"Wh-why? I meant, like, 'gurl' with a 'u.' Gurl! Not like you're a... oh, okay." She gave up, sighing. "Um, so, hey, why don't we dust this off and you take me to the mall and pick me out some eye shadow, just like the old days, huh? You're so good with color!" 

"Yeah, I don't think I'm leaving the house til college, but, thanks." Brendon insisted. 

"Oh, Bee. Listen. I get it. I really do. With what happened with Dallon, I know that you didn't get to come out to me in the way that you wanted to. We didn't get to have our extra-special mother/son lifetime movie moment. I know that. You don't want to go out tonight, right? I got a plan B!" She said, smiling as she pulled a stack of movies from beside her on the couch.

"Did you know that WebFlix has an entire gay and lesbian section? Blew my mind. Okay... Milk. I got 'Milk'. It's about a gay mayor... Boys Don't Cry'... now, this is girl that wants to be a boy. That's a tricky one. 'Brokeback Mountain' ... That's about cowboys. And something called 'Shortballs'... Oh, I mean, 'Shortbus'. So, which one do you want to pop in first, huh? Probably the cowboys, right? That one's safe." His mom said as Brendon rolled his eyes, wanting to tear out his hair.

**

"Someone drank all my ginger ales!" Ashley complained. "Hey, do you know if there's caffeine or alcohol on a Chica Loca?" She asked, pulling out a blue can of the drink from the fridge.

"No, 'Shley, of course not. Chug away." Caprice said sarcastically, and the Mormon girl smiled as she opened the drink.

*

"This was a bad idea." Pete said as he followed Sarah into Cameron's house party, receiving looks from people.

"There is no getting cold feet now. We have got to rescue Dallon from those gay-snatching fashion nazis! Divide and conquer." Sarah said, hurrying away and leaving Pete alone to find Dallon.

*

"Hey, sexy. Don't think me presumptuous when I say 'bottoms up'." Fawcett said to Dallon as she walked up.

"Ugh. This tastes like ass." Dallon said after taking a drink of the Chica Loca that Fawcett insisted he needed to try.

"Mm-hmm. Perfect for you." Fawcett said with a smile.

"Funny." Dallon mumbled sarcastically.

"Loosen up." Fawcett said, smacking Dallon playfully on the arm.

"I hear that's helpful." Dallon said, smirking.

"There you go! Look, don't let Caprice pressure you. If you're really that nervous, then just blow off blowing what's his name and come to prom as my arm candy." Fawcett suggested. 

"It might be kind of cool to, like, actually go on a date or something... P.S... this one can has over 600 calories. I thought carbs were like gay kryptonite or something?" Dallon said, reading the label on the can of alcohol.

"Alcohol is the one exception. Duh. Now down it, bitch. Whoo!" Fawcett cheered, laughing when Dallon took a big gulp.

**

Dude, my mom is CRAZY. What's up? Miss you. 

Brendon backspaced the text, leaning against his kitchen counter. He had left to get a drink when his mom had begun to narrate the sex scene. 

He sighed. 

**

A few hours and a lot of drinks later, Dallon was getting all the frequently asked questions. 

"So, with straight guys, there's ass men and tit men.. but what's the gay equivalent? Like, ball men?" Some guy with bleached hair asked as Dallon found himself sitting on a couch with people he didn't know.

"When you're getting gay with a guy, how do you decide who's the girl and who's the boy?" Another guy asked. 

"Not an expert, but I think you're both the boy. That's kind of the point." Dallon slurred.

"Just Wiki that shit, freak. Leave him alone." Fawcett said, seeming to appear out of thin air and hold a had out to Dallon. "Come on, slut. You owe me a dance." 

"Oh, you guys, I found you! Hi!" Ashley slurred, standing behind Fawcett and hugging her. "Uh, hi... hi!" Fawcett said. "Hi and bye." She shoved the drunk girl away. 

"Is it just me, or is she, like, the worst Mormon ever?" Dallon asked, his voice loud over the music. He usually hated dancing. But the alcohol in his system made him forget about how awkward he probably looked, and he moved to the beat with Fawcett.

"It's so not just you. She's cray-cray." Fawcett said. 

"Hey! You! Emo boy, come here!" Ashley yelled, and Pete's eyes widened as she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards a bedroom. 

"Ew. Get out. We're having gay-guy/girl gab time." Ashley said when she opened the door to see a couple making out on the bed. They left the room, mumbling. 

"So, your friend Dallon won't tell me anything about the J's." Ashley said, pushing Pete onto the bed and climbing on top of him.

"The... The who?" Pete asked, a little confused as one of the most popular girls in the school straddled him.

"The... The HJ's and the BJ's... pretty much any of the J's. But I've got an idea. You are gonna show me how. And it's not gonna count because you're, like, super gay-mosexual!" Ashley said, pressing Pete onto the bed and leaning down to kiss him.

"Uh, yeah, right." Pete said, smiling a little. 

"Shh! Just pretend I'm, like, some super-hot guy... like David Archuleta." The girl said.

"Oh, David Archuleta? David, don't you worry. I'm gonna teach you all about the HJ's and the BJ's and the Jay-Z's and the J.J. Abrams... No, wait. Hold on." Pete said, pushing Ashley back a little. "You're drunk. Plus, you're Mormon, which, like, totally exacerbates the whole being drunk thing."

"'Exasturbates'. That's a funny word." Ashley giggled

"Yeah. Yeah, anyway, I'm... I'm not even..."

"What?" 

"Gay." 

"Prove it, then!" Ashley said, smirking.

**

"Look who I found!" Caprice said, pulling someone by the arm up to Dallon. Someone.. hot. Dallon faced the guy, stumbling over his feet.

"Oh, hi! You must be..."

"Christian. Hello, Dallon." The new man said in his British accent.

"Even better in real life, right?" Caprice asked. 

"Even better with beer goggles, she means. " Fawcett said, walking by and brushing her hand against Caprice.

"Don't touch me." Caprice said.

"Damn, you are pretty. I mean handsome. I mean pretty handsome. 'Sup, bro?" Dallon stammered, not entirely sure how to approach this situation. 

"He's usually less special." Caprice said.

"Do you maybe want a glass of water or something, mate?" Christian asked, holding a hand out to Dallon to keep him from stumbling. 

"Oh, hi, there. I hate to break up this little... whatever this is, but I need to talk to Dallon." Sarah was suddenly there, grabbing Dallon's arm, and it was all a little confusing for Dallon.

"Dallon can't talk right now, he and Christian were about to have a private moment alone." Caprice said, grabbing Dallon and Christian and dragging them down the hallway, with Sarah following desperately.

**

"Yo, Topher, welcome to the casa." Cameron said as Topher walked in.

"Thank you. Hey, is Dallon here? ..I mean 'Shley. Is 'Shley here? She's my girlfriend. Love her." Topher said, correcting himself.

"Yeah. She's in the back." Cameron said.

"Okay. Thank you. All right." He said, smiling and walking into the house.

**

Caprice pushed Dallon and Christian into the bedroom, with Sarah right behind them. They opened the door to find two people on the bed.

"Hey, Pete." Dallon said.

"Oh, my god. Ew, 'Shley!" Caprice gasped.

"Pete, you really are straight?" Sarah exclaimed.

"No, no, he's totes not. So it doesn't count. Right?" Ashley said, looking up at the group who had just joined the bedroom.

"Oh, Jesus Christ." Caprice mumbled.

"Caprice, watch your mouth, please!" Ashley said.

"I could say the same for you, 'whore-mon'." Caprice countered.

"I think I have to barf." Dallon mumbled, pushing past everyone and out of the room, only to run straight into Topher in the hallway. 

"Hey, D. Remember me?" Topher said with a wink, and Dallon got one look at him before he was vomiting all over his clean, Mormon shoes, while Christian and the others watched in astonishment.

And now he sat alone outside, by the pool, with Fawcett and her friend Mindie walking up.

"Daldo, I heard you bulimed cuisine all over a Mormon!" Mindie laughed. 

"I thought I told you to always drink on an empty stomach!" Fawcett scolded.

"I'm gonna go." Dallon said after a pause. "I'm kind of over being the party's gay mascot, and of publicly humiliating myself in front of potential dates."

"You want Mindie to drive you?" Fawcett asked.

"Don't worry. I'm t-totally sober." Mindie slurred.

"No, thanks. I'll walk." 

"Okay. Call me tomorrow!" Fawcett said, kissing Dallon's cheek before walking off.  

**

Dallon stumbled home, his maroon blazer he'd worn to the party thrown over his shoulder. He laughed to himself as he almost tripped over his own feet, his new shoes getting scuffed by the asphalt as he approached his house. He looked up and noticed someone sitting on the curb in front of his house.

Brendon.

"Oh, um... I... am... drunk." Dallon said, giggling.

"Me too." Brendon said, in the valley-girl voice he used when he was trying to be funny.

"What are you doing in front of my house?" Dallon asked, laughing as he plopped down on the curb next to Brendon. 

"I have no clue." Brendon said, breathing a laugh. "Since I basically have no friends left, my mom decided to have a queer-movie marathon. But when we got to Heath and Jake grunting in a tent, I started drinking heavily."

Dallon laughed, rocking back and forth a little. "You walked all the way over here?" He asked.

"Mhm. I had this idea that I'd make this.. grand entrance at the party, and make a huge scene, but this is as far as I got." Brendon answered, bumping Dallon with his shoulder.

"Yeah. I see." Dallon said.

"It's not fair! You get to be belle of the ball, And I'm stuck home with mommy dearest." Brendon said, his voice raised a little and his eyebrows scrunched together. 

"I'd trade places with you in a second." Dallon said.

"Just... Just do me a favor. When you win prom king, you'll make a big speech about, you know, everything that you've learned, you know.. very Lohan." Brendon said.

Dallon sighed. "Not really my style, but... we'll see." There was a second of silence before Dallon was laughing again. "Sorry. Still picturing you watching 'Brokeback' with your mom."

"It's not funny!" Brendon exclaimed. "I'm gonna have to emancipate or something. She's driving me crazy."

"She's just being supportive. Maybe everyone secretly wants a GBF.. .even moms." Dallon said, subconsciously leaning closer to Brendon to avoid falling over in his drunken state.

"Right now I would just settle for, like, a BF." Brendon muttered, looking away from Dallon.

"You mean like a best friend or, like, boyfriend?" Dallon giggled.

"Either... or both." Brendon said, leaning a little closer to Dallon.

And then they were just looking at each other's lips, leaning closer and closer. Until Brendon finally turned and pressed their mouths together. And it was so different from Topher kissing Dallon; this was slow and sweet. It was nice.


	6. Chapter 6

Dallon woke up face to face with Brendon. Who, he had to admit, looked really cute with his eyes shut and little snores coming from his slightly parted lips. But he didn't have time to think about it too much before he panicked, shaking Brendon's shoulder until the smaller boy woke up, and upon realizing their position, sat straight up in the bed.

"Wait." Brendon said, lifting the covers to see he was only in his underwear. "What? Oh, my god, no, no."

"Did we...? We didn't, right?" Dallon said, his eyes wide. It would really suck if he lost his virginity and didn't even remember it.

"You don't know?" Brendon asked, looking equally as shocked. 

"Do you?" Dallon asked.

"No, no, no, no, we... we came in, and we... we just... we were drunk. We passed out, I think." Brendon said, squinting his eyes as he tried to remember, and also as he tried not to stare at Dallon who was wearing only underwear as well.

"Right. That sounds right." Dallon said, sighing in relief.

"Yeah." Brendon sighed.

Then there was a knock at the bedroom door.

"Closet! Now!" Dallon said, shoving Brendon's small body in the direction of the closet, where he could hide. 

"Seriously?" Brendon protested, and Dallon only shoved him again. This time the shorter boy obeyed and stepped inside, closing the door behind himself.

"Honey, what was that?" Shannon asked as she opened the door.

"Nothing. I'm just cleaning up in here." Dallon assured quickly, casting a nervous glance at the closet. 

"Yeah, it does smell kind of...musky in here." Shannon said, and Dallon's eyes widened. "So, I've got bubbling cinnabons in the microwave, and some chocolate milk for you." 

"Super. I'll be right there." Dallon said, and Shannon smiled at him before leaving, shutting the door behind her. Dallon jumped up, going to the closet to let Brendon out.

"Thanks for that." Brendon muttered, his eyebrows furrowed, looking mad.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not ready." Dallon said desperately as Brendon gathered up his clothes and shoes.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here." The smaller boy growled, bundling his pants and shoes up in his arms and walking to Dallon's bedroom door.

"Wait!" Dallon said before he opened the door to leave.

"What?" Brendon said, turning around. 

"Could you, uh, just ...go that way?" Dallon asked quietly, gesturing towards the window. 

"So, first you want to put me back in the closet, and now you want me to jump out your window?" Brendon smarted. 

"Yes?" Dallon said.

"Real nice, Dallon." Brendon snorted as he shoved Dallon's blinds up and opened the window, dropping his things out of it. 

"I'll make it up to you. I swear." Dallon promised, a desperate look on his face as he took a step towards Brendon.

"Yeah, whatever. It's fine. I get it." Brendon said, climbing through the window and dropping down into the recycling bin outside. He climbed out and grabbed his clothes, sliding his pants on before walking in the direction of his house and leaving Dallon to sigh unhappily.

The next Monday, Dallon swore he still couldn't shake the hangover, or what happened between himself and Brendon. What was he thinking? 

"Hey, Dallio." Caprice said as she walked up from behind Dallon. "Amazing news. Christian's willing to forget about your projectile vomit and general 'schwastedness' this weekend. He's still willing to go to the prom with you." 

"Really? Still?" Dallon asked, smiling a little. Sure, he wasn't really into Christian, but.. it was something.

"Believe it, bitch. Apparently, you being the only decent-looking, age-appropriate gay guy in a 20-mile radius has given him a convenient case of boner-induced amnesia." Caprice joked.

"He really thinks I'm... decent-looking?" Dallon asked, his smile growing a little.

"Yeah. Just one condition: lay off the cosmo-tini-ritas on prom night, okay?"

"That definitely won't be a problem." Dallon assured. He was pretty much done with drinking, he'd done enough of that in one night to last him a lifetime, as far as he was concerned.

"Yay! This is gonna be so homo-doralbe!" The girl said, leading Dallon to the table where you bought tickets.

"I'd like to get two tickets to prom." Dallon said to the girl behind the table, recognizing her as one of Ashley's Mormon friends. MacKenzie.

"Oh... okay, then. Just write down the name of your date here and also her school if she-" The girl started.

"He." Dallon inturrupted.

"Um, excuse me?" MacKenzie asked. 

"He, as in him. Pronouns that describe my date, who is a dude."

"Yikes. Sorry. To get the couple's special, you need to be a traditional boy/girl pairing." The girl behind the table said, faking a smile.

"You want me to fight this bitch, Dallon?" Caprice said, narrowing her eyes at the blonde behind the table.

"Sorry, but that's just the policy." MacKenzie shrugged. Then Melanie walked up.

"Dallon, I just want you to know that I share your outrage. Now, what are we gonna do about this?" Melanie said, beside Dallon.

"We?" Caprice said.

"I just thought you could use the GSA's help to right this blatant discrimination. That's why our group exists. Please come to our meeting after school." Melanie said, whispering the last part to Dallon.

"Thanks, Mel-lame-ie but we can fight our own battles." Caprice answered for him.

"This isn't over." Melanie said, before walking off.

**

"It's just outrageous. I mean, what is this... 2008?" Fawcett complained. "MacKenzie price is deceased, socially, at this school. I've already got the Facebook post composed."

"I think I'm gonna go to the G.S.A. meeting after school." Dallon said.

"No. Melanie and her little group... it'll totally downgrade your rep. Plus, those busted bitches were the ones that dragged you out of the closet. Remember?" Caprice said.

"Please don't tell me you're seriously considering this." Fawcett said. 

"What have I got to lose? I mean, they outed me, but at least their intentions were kind of noble, I guess. And let me just say... If you guys really claim to be my friends, you could focus a little less on how much I match your outfit on any given day, and show some concern for my freaking equal rights!" Dallon said, suddenly a little heated as he stood from the table and stormed off.

**

"Hey! Have you heard about Dallon?" Pete said, jogging up to Brendon who was walking to lunch. 

"What? What did... I didn't... what did you hear?" Brendon stammered, trying his best to not act like he'd made out with said tall nerd only days ago.

"Well, apparently he totally threw down with MacKenzie Price over prom." Pete said, smiling. "Yeah, he was all like, 'I'm gonna take a dude as my date'. And she was all like, 'oh, not on my watch!' and then he was all like, 'oh, yeah, we'll see about that, you c-word-face mofo ho." 

"Hold that, Scene Queen. Dallon wants to ask a guy to prom?" Brendon asked, his eyes wide and a little bit of excitement bubbling in his stomach.

"Yeah. I have no idea who, though. Maybe he met someone." Pete said.

"Uh.. no one I can think of.." Brendon mumbled, trying hard not to blush.

"Me neither. See ya!" Pete said, rushing off and leaving Brendon to lean against the wall and think about Dallon, who may or may not be planning to ask him to prom.

**

"First order of business, GSA-ers... I'd like to introduce our first actually gay member, Dallon Weekes! Whoo!" Melanie spoke excitedly to the small group of kids.

"Welcome, bro dude. Good to have another member with a member representin'!" Brad Daniels, the only other boy present, said. 

"Uh, right. Well, I'm just here because I was trying to buy prom tickets, and..." Dallon started, only to he inturrupted when Fawcett made an entrance.

"And he couldn't because of our school's unjust, totally outdated prom-date policies! So, what are we gonna do about this?" The teen beauty queen said.

"We?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah. I am joining the GSA to support my GBF." Fawcett said, moving to the seat next to Dallon and making a girl move out of her way so she could be beside him. 

"I'm sorry. Um, Fawcett, thank you, but, um, we're at capacity. So we don't really..." Melanie said.

"Melanie, the GSA is open to anyone who wants to join." Ms. Hogel said.

"But, Ms. Hogel... this is my thing, you know? She has things... lots of things... and she's trying to take my... my, uh... she's..." Melanie stammered, desperately.

"Are you quite done?" Fawcett smarted. "So, can we please just..."

"Just one moment, Fawcett. I've noticed some disturbing trends In this school as of late." Ms. Hogel inturrupted. "It seems that many of you girls are treating Dallon as more of a prize to be won than an actual person."

"Ms. Hogel, that's ridiculous. Right, Dal?" Fawcett asked, and Dallon just shrugged. Because honestly? That's the way he had been feeling for a while now.

"What are we gonna do about this prom situation?" Dallon asked.

"If you can't take your boy toy to prom, I will lead a school-wide boycott, And if they don't meet my... I mean our... demands, then I'll just host my own, cooler, alterna-prom." Fawcett announced.

"Fawcett, you'd do that? I mean, prom's your night. You're a shoe-in for prom queen." Dallon said.

"Come on. What's the point of being queen when I don't have a fabulous king to share it with?" Fawcett said with said a smile. "You know what, Mel? You have done such a great job with this group, but I think it's time that some things actually changed around this school. Who's with me?"

**

"Hey, Dallon, looking good!" A random girl said as she passed Dallon in the hall.

"Hey. Thanks." Dallon said, looking up as Caprice walked up.

"Ugh! WTF, D? I secure you a date with the hottest teen homo in the Tri-State area, and that jizz-bin still gets your endorsement?" Caprice said, shoving the school's newspaper into Dallon's hands.

"What? But I didn't ever... What?" Dallon said, reading over the headline. "Dallon Weekes endorsed Fawcett Brooks yesterday at the GSA meeting. The new power BFFs known as..." 

"D-Fawce. Cute, isn't it?" Fawcett said, smiling as she bounced over to them.

"You really think another bland blonde like her deserves the crown, Dallon?" Caprice said, sounding outraged.

"Well, at least she stands up for my... my rights or whatever." Dallon mumbled.

"What? Please. This hack-tivist doesn't give a flying fuck about gay rights. She just did it to gain the advantage with you." Caprice spat.

"Oh, you mean like what you did with that male-bait, Christian?" Fawcett spat back, with equal intensity.

"Whatever! At least I tried to bribe him with sex. I treated him like an actual human being, and not some asexual, neutered little purse puppy!" 

"Come on, Dal. I've had enough bad-dinner-theater dramatics for one day. We've got a revolution to plan." Fawcett said, grabbing Dallon's arm and pulling him away.

"Do not come for my craft, bitch!" Caprice yelled.

"Do not come for my bitch, bitch!" Fawcett shot back as she dragged Dallon away.

**

"Hey." Brendon said, walking up to Dallon, who had just got off the phone with someone.

"What's up?" Dallon asked, smiling.

"Not much." Brendon replied with a shrug. "You're making quite the stank over prom, Joining the GSA, endorsing your new bestie..." 

"I didn't endorse anyone. I just..." Dallon said, trailing off and sighing. 

"It's not fair. We should be treated like everyone else." Brendon said, smiling up at Dallon and walking a little closer.

"We?" Dallon asked, a little confused.

"I mean, you got to ask me first." Brendon said, smiling shyly. And Dallon got it: Brendon thought he was going to ask him. To prom.

"What are you talking about?" Dallon said.

"You and me. Prom." Brendon said, looking a little unsure now. He thought.. wasn't Dallon going to ask him?

"Uh... Caprice set up this thing with her friend. I just... " Dallon began to explain. He didn't want to hurt Brendon's feelings, but.. the smaller boy had misinterpreted the entire situation.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about us going to prom together?" Brendon suddenly cut in, a forced smile on his face.

"Just that..."

"No, no, I was saying, like, if you wanted a friend to go with, but, like.. obviously you got that, you know. Taken care of, so, you know, I hope your prince charming gives you everything you want..." Brendon rambled, backing away. He felt tears in his eyes and he didn't want Dallon to see. "And also crabs." He added as he turned away, leaving Dallon to stand alone.

The taller boy just ran his hand through his hair, sighing. He knew Brendon was upset, but was there any way he could fix it?

**

"I got your Facebook message."

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?"

"Does your vocal coach know you smoke?"

Caprice rolled her eyes. "Look, we all know you're gayer than a very special episode of Glee."

"I am not!" Brendon protested, putting his sunglasses/disguise on top of his head. They were meeting at the school, and it was dark. He needed a disguise. "What's your point?" He asked.

"Well, I need a minion, and you need a diva to worship. With Tanner and Fawcett heading up this fake prom, fhat leaves an opportunity for me to be the queen of the real one." Caprice said. "So, how would you like to be my date? Maybe even my king?"

Brendon looked thoughtful, but.. wasn't this kinda shady?

"Alright, if you still need convincing, check out a pic of Tanner's prom date." Caprice said, holding up her phone with Christian's picture on it.

Brendon shrugged. "He can do better, but I'm in." 

"Hi, there. Caprice, you said you had something you wanted to talk about?" MacKenzie, 'Shley's super-Mormon friend appeared.

"I do." Caprice said, smiling.

"Love your cloak." Brendon said, running his fingers along the end of MacKenzie's red accessory.

"Thanks!" She said with a smile.

**

"Support traditional prom-going values! Buy tickets to the official, school-sanctioned prom!" Caprice yelled, sitting at a ticket-selling booth with Brendon and MacKenzie. Right across from Fawcett and Dallon's ticket-selling booth.

"Attend the prom by students, for all students." Fawcett yelled.

"Can I have one, please?" Some kid, Dallon was pretty sure his name was Ryan, asked.

"No." Fawcett said.

"Um, sorry. You're not on our list of approved students." Melanie said, a fake smile on her lips as Ryan looked pissed. Dallon turned and gave Fawcett a confused look.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"This being an Indie operation, we've got very limited space. But I'm sure Caprice's old-fashioned loser dance has plenty of tickets available. Thank you!" Fawcett said to Ryan, and the skinny kid finally rolled his eyes and walked across to Caprice's booth.

"Fawcett, what the hell was that?!" Dallon asked. 

"Dal, if we want to pull off this whole gay-inclusive-prom thing, we're gonna have to keep it kind of... exclusive." Fawcett said. 

"That's hypocritical." 

"Look, I didn't make up these rules, but a fugly prom is a failed prom." Fawcett said, sending a look towards Ryan.

"So wrong." Dallon said, looking up as Sarah and Pete walked out into the courtyard, Pete with a shocked expression as he looked back and forth between the booths.

"I told you. This is crazy. It's like freaking high-school Game of  
Thrones out here or something." Sarah said to Pete, rolling her eyes.  They walked towards the booths. 

"Sorry, Ellen Jr., but you can't take your little gay buddy here to this dance. Try the pro-sodomy prom." MacKenzie said as Sarah and Pete walked up. 

"You do know that oral counts as sodomy, right? So, with the amount of going down that goes down at prom, you might want to rethink the concept." Sarah smarted. "Right, Brendon? By the way, did they change the official prom song to 'Trapped in the Closet' just for you?" 

Brendon's eyed widened as he sat beside Caprice and MacKenzie. 

"Nice try, lies-bian, but I know for a fact that my boo Brendon is as straight as they come. Like Kanye or Diddy or Tyler Perry." Caprice said. 

"Whatev. Er. Whatever. The full word. I said it all." Sarah said, horrified by how she had almost shortened the word into the basic bitch version.

"Tophie, I want to go to cool prom!" Ashley said, pulling Topher's arm in the direction of Fawcett and Dallon's booth as they walked up as well.

"Hey, 'Shley! You know Caprice calls you a ginger-snatch behind your back, right?" Fawcett yelled from her booth, and Ashley's eyes widened as she ran her fingers through her red hair."She does?"

"Well, Fawcett said your religion is just scientology without birth control or famous people!" Caprice shot back, louder. 

"Well, you know what? F you both!" Ashley said and hurried off with a frustrated sound.

"She'll be fine. And we'll take two tickets to the 100% totally un-gay prom. Thank you." Topher said, smiling at Brendon as he bought two tickets from Caprice.

"Mm. Cute shorts." Brendon said, nodding at Topher's shorts.

"Thanks." Topher said, winking.

"I hear you and spigot here are denying certain less-than-favorable people tickets." Sarah said to Dallon, crossing her arms as she and Pete made their way to Fawcett's booth.

"Relax, Sarah. You and 'Memoirs of a Gay Nerd' are allowed to come. I'm giving you a temporary pass to the cool kids' table." Fawcett said, a fake smile on her lips.  

"We wouldn't come if you paid us, Fawcett. Or should I say 'fascist'?" 

"It's your social funeral, sweetie. I'll start mourning now." Fawcett said.

"Sarah! Wait!" Dallon yelled, struggling to stand and untangle his long legs from the table.

"You know what? You both have become so much more Than these bitches' sexless accessories. You've become full-blown tools, in every sense of the word!" Sarah said as she stormed off, leaving Pete to follow. 

Dallon let out a frustrated groan and stormed off as well.

"Dallon! Dal, wait!" Fawcett said, chasing after her taller friend.

"What is your deal?" Dallon exclaimed. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Excuse me? The last I checked, this was all for you." Fawcett said.

"Is it? You know I actually started to believe that you were my friend? But what is this, really? Am I just some tool to you? A wrench, so that you can screw over Caprice and 'Shley?"

"Wrenches don't screw things. God, you are gay. But you're right. Look, at first I just wanted to keep you to myself. After Hamilton dumped me... Yeah, it's true, he dumped me... I thought I needed you by my side to win. But it's different now. I really like hanging out with you... for real." Fawcett explained.

"Then why create a separate prom? I mean, you're gonna win queen no matter what."

"Don't be so sure. I took a peek at the polling data. I rule with the popular kids, but the other 90%, the rest of the school, just think I'm a soulless bitch. I mean, they'd rather vote for 'Shley. At least she's nice. Caprice... She's got talent." Fawcett sighed. "What have I got?"

"You have me." Dallon said after a moment of quiet.

"Really?"

Dallon sighed. "You're more than what people see on the surface, Fawcett, and you're the only one who stood up for me when it really mattered, so let's make a compromise. You let everyone come to the alterna-prom, and I'll make sure that you get that crown. Deal?"

"Yeah." Fawcett said, pulling Dallon into a hug.


	7. Chapter 7

"Thanks, all of you, for helping to keep our prom gayness-free. So, I'm thinking, activity-wise, how about a promise-ring booth?" MacKenzie said, smiling at the group of 'old-fashioned prom' activists sitting with her.

"So charming. Love it." Ashley said.  "Promise rings for prom. Cute."

"I've got a little bit of a different plan, all right?" Caprice said, smirking. "Listen up, ladies. Dallon and Fawcett are poaching all the cool kids for their little pansy prom. If we don't act quick, we won't have enough people for a halfway-decent hokey pokey. What we need to do is start prom-oting prom. You feel me?"

The others expressed their approval and Brendon clapped. 

**

"Don't you think this might be a bit over-the-top, Brendon?" Caprice asked, looking at the hand made poster Brendon had just finished hanging in the hall.

"I'm just fighting flamers with flame." Brendon said, letting his eyes wander over all of the sassy slogans that he'd hung all over the school with the help of the others. Although they were all signs about not being gay, and it was extremely hypocritical of him, he couldn't help but feel proud. Fuck you, Dallon. Both figuratively, and literally.

**

"Hey."

Brendon spun around in the supply closet where he'd just finished putting away the extra paint. "Oh, my god!" He gasped, coming face to face with Topher.

"Relax, dude." Topher said, a charming smile on his face. "I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your passion. You're really... organized. I mean, when I heard about Dallon going to prom With that other dude, I was totally grossed out, too."

"Right, bro?" Brendon forced, trying to seem nonchalant. "I mean, like, two dudes, like... Ugh! Ugh. Gross." 

"Yeah. So, um, do you want to feel how straight I am?" Topher asked, leaving forward and grabbing a hold of Brendon's hand and pressing it to the crotch of his pants.

"Come again... Whoa. Is this actually happening, or is this a dream? Because I just changed my sheets yesterday." Brendon said.

"No, it's real, bro." Topher said, smirking at Brendon and leaning in.

"Oh, my god..." Brendon said, letting Topher kiss him. "Wait. Wait. How did you know? I mean, did Dallon tell you? That I'm gay?" 

"No, dude, I figured it out myself. Tanner won't even look at me since I tried to get with him." Topher said, pressing their lips together again. And causing Brendon to moan softly. 

"Wait. What am I doing? No, no way, no. I cannot have Dallon's rejected sloppy seconds. I have too much self-respect." Brendon said, pulling away and straightening his clothes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some anti-gay prom posters to finish." He walked out of the closet (literally) and left Topher alone.

"So close. God damn it!" Topher said, only to gasp at his own words. "I am so sorry, God."

**

"Prom is short for promenade, not prom-n-aids." Dallon read. "No one but Brendon could come up with a pun that simultaneously lame and offensive." He said, looking away from the poster and towards Sarah.

"I told you... He has officially lost it."

**

"What the shit were you thinking?!" Mr. Crowe yelled at the group of students crammed in his office. "This language is unacceptable!" 

"Principal Crowe, as a devout Mormon, I think the signs are all totally true and appropriate." MacKenzie said, earning nods from Brendon, Caprice and Topher.

"Oh, in what universe would 'boutonnieres, not butt sex!' be appropriate for a prom slogan?" Mr. Crowe said.

"Yeah, and 'no tossing salads'? I got the cafeteria ladies coming in here asking me if I changed the menu! I've got news organizations calling me, Not to mention the ACLU. Facebook! People are tweeting about this!" Mrs. Hogel chimed in.

"We... We weren't thinking." Caprice said.

"Well, I'm particularly disappointed in you, Mr. Urie. I expected more of you. I was thinking about suspending you all. But instead, I'm just gonna cancel prom." Mr. Crowe said. 

"Oh, wait, no! You can't do that!" Caprice said.

"Wait a minute. That'll turn us into social pariahs."

"Yeah, that's not fair."

"You're not canceling their prom, too."

"That prom is out of principal Crowe's jurisdiction, and its organizers haven't been promoting a hate." Mrs. Hogel said in response to the many voices of the students in front of her. 

"Now get out of here before I change my mind about the suspensions." Mr. Crowe said, and the small group all hurried out. 

**

"Well, Dallon, looks like we've now got the only game in town." Fawcett said as she stood in the hall beside Mr. Crowe's office, waiting for the others to get out. "Though, Brenny, I have to give you some props. Those signs were pretty Hilarious."

**

"Onward, Christian soldiers. They want to cancel our prom? Then we will organize a protest of their deviant dance of debauchery." MacKenzie announced.

"She's right, Bee. The whole 'me being prom queen' ship has sailed. But take it from an actress... If we can't be in the spotlight, we can sure make one hell of a scene." Caprice said. 

"Tophie, how could you? Those signs that you made were just so, so mean!" Ashley exclaimed, jogging up to Topher and crossing her arms. 

"Babe, I was just trying to protect our relationship." Topher tried. 

"Oh, well, congratulations. You just did the opposite. We are so done-zo." Ashley said, storming off. Topher just shrugged and walked closer to Caprice and Brendon. "How's it going, guys?"

"Oh, fantastic. We've devised a genius way to take Dweekes down a few notches. And knock Fawce-slut off her high horse." Caprice said with a smirk. 

"Okay, so, while you crazy Christians are outside protesting, Caprice and I will infiltrate the prom in killer ensembles." Brendon said, smiling.

"James bond. Hello." Caprice added.

"And the moment that Dallon and Fawcett are crowned king and queen, we douse them with this." Brendon continued, holding up a bag of glitter. 

"It'll be very.. Stephen King's 'Carrie' meets Mariah Carey's 'Glitter'." Caprice added, again.

"Dallon will hate it. This one time, in like, the fourth grade.. I accidentally, like spilled glitter on him in arts and crafts. He didn't talk to me for like a month. It's like the longest he and I have ever gone without speaking." Brendon said. "You know, up until now."

"And Fawcett will be picking it out of her prized Goldilocks for months. With any luck, she'll have to shave it back like Britney." Caprice said with a smirk.

"Yeah! I love it!" Mackenzie approved. "Great scheming, guys. I'm just so glad we're friends now, Caprice. I've always wanted an SBF."

"An SBF?" Caprice asked.

"Sassy Black Friend." 

Caprice rolled her eyes. 

**

As Brendon and Caprice plotted, Dallon realized he had his own unfinished business to take care of. 

"Hey." He said, as he walked into his living room, where his parents sat. "I-I've got something to say."

"Dallon, honey, what is it? You need a snack?" His stepmom asked.

"No, Shannon, I'm not hungry. I, um... I've got something to tell you both, and I don't care if you like it or not." Dallon said, trying to sound casual.

"Dallon? Honey, what is it?" His dad asked.

"I, um... so, I'm... I'm not actually going to the prom with Fawcett tomorrow. I mean, she's driving me, but I've got another date... A boy. I like boys. Well, I mean, not boys, like... Gross. Men. Men. Like men my own age." Dallon said. Then, he nervously and defensively added, "And so did Abraham Lincoln! I read that.. somewhere. And he was, like, the best republican ever, so.. you should probably say something before I keep.. saying more things."

"Dallon... we know." Mr. Weekes said.

"Y-You what?" 

"We know. And it's okay. Although your claims about Abraham Lincoln I don't think are entirely substantiated." His dad went on, raising an eyebrow.

"Dallon, sweetie. I mean, you haven't been completely consistent In clearing the internet history. We've seen some stuff." Shannon said.

"Word. We have seen some stuff. I mean, who knew that that even... Oh, my god. Anyway, so, you're 100% completely allergic to the lady parts. That's fine! Who cares? It's okay." His dad rambled.

"I-I could be Bi." Dallon said, feeling a little weirded out and slightly offended.

"Yeah, right!" His dad said, forcing back a laugh. "Of, um.. of course you can."

"Okay, well, um... so, good, I guess, then. I'm... I'm gonna... I'm gonna go." Dallon said, heading for the stairs.

"Dallon, honey, do you need a snack? You're skinny." Shannon said. Dallon just hurried up the steps.

"He could be bi." Mr. Weekes said with a laugh. "And I could be the queen of England." 

**

"Oh, prom! Let's do this! Oh, that's cute. Oh, that's so prom. Yes. Oh, ooh-ooh-oh Ooh-ooh-oh, oh Girl, you look great!" Mrs. Urie said, doing her best to sound hip as she snapped pictures of Brendon and Caprice in their matching, extavagant outfits.

"Thanks, girl." Caprice said.

"I was talking to my son." Mrs. Urie said.

"Thank you." Brendon said.

**

"Oh Ready?" Fawcett asked.

"Yeah. Let's do this." Dallon said.

**

"Say cheese!" Mrs. Urie exclaimed, taking another picture. 

"Caprice, I'm impressed. I mean, you look very convincing." Mrs. Urie said. 

"My mom may or may not think you're a drag queen." Brendon mumbled to Caprice.

"I'm alright with that." She answered.

"Darling, can I just... Just want... Listen, I just wanted to say that I don't know what, you know, all this is and I don't... Whatever... Whatever you want to call yourself. I mean, the bottom line is your mom loves you very much, like crazy a lot, like to the point where it's really kind of ridiculous. It's almost embarrassing. A lot. So, please just know that, darling." Mrs. Urie said, stopping Brendon before he got in the car to leave. 

"Thanks. I love you, too." Brendon said.

"Oh, gosh, honey. Thank you so much. Here, I don't want to... I don't want to smudge your makeup. Shall surely be put to death! Prepare ye... for the infidels." His mom said, sort of ruining the moment as she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

**

"Finally. Where have you been? And why are you wearing that?" Sarah said, looking at Pete in his suit. "You're bailing on me to go after that latter-day skank."

"'Shley dumped Topher and needs a GBF to escort her to prom. She still seems to think that I'm gay, despite our little dry-humping session." Pete explained to Sarah, who was sitting on the couch in her pajamas.

"he indignities and humiliations a guy will go through just for some Mormon ginge-muff. You really are a flaming heterosexual." Sarah said.

"Guilty. Seriously, Sarah, can you do me a huge favor and cover prom for the gazette?" Pete asked.

"No."

"Come on! Please. You, of all people, know that this insanity needs to be documented. And, uh, well, I might have my hands full." Pete said, making obscene gestures with his hands. Sarah just rolled her eyes.

"I am not paying Faux-ette one cent to get into her sham of a dance." Sarah said.

"Press passes." Pete said, holding up a badge that said 'photographer'.

"Fine, but I'm only going if there are appetizers." Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes!" 

**

"Aww!" Fawcett said as Dallon and Christian walked into prom arm-in-arm.

"You're doing it again." Dallon said.

"What?" Fawcett asked.

"That noise girls make when they see two gay guys together."

"Yeah, it's the same annoying sound people make when they see cute animals dressed in human clothes." Christian said. 

"Ew, gross. Barf. Is that better?" Fawcett teased.

"Much." Dallon said with a smile, leading them all to the dance floor.

**

"You're all gonna burn! Think of your soul you're defiling! Ever read the bible?! 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman! It is an abomination!' Abomination! You're all going to hell!" Mackenzie chanted, along with several other activists, outside of the prom building.

**

Caprice and Brendon took the time to strike several poses in the doorway before they walked down to the dance floor, where Christian was basically fighting Fawcett for a dance with Dallon.

"Caprice. Brendon. Funny seeing you here. Welcome." Fawcett said as the other two approached them.

"We've seen the error of our ways. We just can't wait to see you both crowned. You guys really deserve it. Truly." Caprice said, interlocking her arm with Brendon's.

"See, you guys?" Ashley said, walking up and pulling Pete with her. "It all worked out! We all have our very own GBF."

"Actually, we're not all GBF.s." Pete tried.

"Right... Brendon's 100%, grade-A hetero." Caprice said. 

"Sure he is." Fawcett said, placing herself between Christian and Dallon, who have Brendon a helpless look before she pulled him off to dance again.

"Well, hey, there, prom date." Dallon said later, when Fawcett had taken a trip to the bathroom.

"Hey. So, is this not the lamest thing ever? I didn't know we were gonna be your girlfriend's matching corsages." Christian said with a charming smile.

"I know, right? Sorry about that." Dallon said, smiling in what he hoped was a casual manner. 

"You want to get out of here? I know a place where we could... get to know each other." Christian said, inching closer to Dallon as he spoke.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome.. I just feel like I should eeally stay here for Fawcett's sake, you know, 'cause..."

"Dallon."

"...she's like..."

"Dallon."

"...really fragile..."

"Dallon."

" ...and... Hmm?" Dallon asked, finally stopping his rambling.

"I get it. You're not there yet. So, if you don't mind, I'm... I'm gonna bounce." Christian said with a kind smile. 

"Okay. Night. Sure." Dallon said, feeling relieved in a weird way as Christian left him waiting for Fawcett to come out of the bathroom. It was stressful being around him, honestly.

**

"These ways, for this is how the nations I am driving out before you became defiled! As the land was defiled, I came to punish it, and it has vomited out its inhabitants. You shall keep my promises..."

"See ya."

"Bye." 

"What are you doing?" Mackenzie asked as all of her fellow protestors left her outside alone and went in to the prom. They ditched their signs and walked in.

**

"I feel a monster stress zit coming on. You know when you can feel it coming and there's nothing you can do to stop it?" Dallon said as Sarah walked up, using his phone screen as a mirror to look at his nose. 

"Let me look." Sarah said, grabbing the sides of Brendon's face and looking closer at the pink dot on his nose. "Okay, well, I do see it. The good news is it won't surface for a few hours."

"Thanks." Dallon said, sticking his phone back in his pocket.

"But if things run late with posh spice, he might have to learn to love you, zits and all." Sarah teased, faking a British accent.

"Not gonna happen. He bailed." Dallon said, sighing. "I guess I spent all this time being a GBF, and never actually learned how to be a real, live gay." 

"Well, it sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you." Sarah said.

"I just miss you guys so much. I can't believe I ditched you. I don't know what happened to me. I just... Just got s-scared." Dallon said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Not to mention blinded by the flash of bleached teeth and hair?" Sarah joked.

"Dallon? Our crowning moment is only minutes away." Fawcett said, grabbing Dallon's arm and pulling him towards the stage.

"Great tunes, great tunes. Okay, hello there, ladies and gentlemen, and, uh, everything in between." Melanie announced from the stage, into a microphone.

"This is it, babes. This is our moment. D-Fawce is gonna dominate." Fawcett said to Dallon as she held onto his hand excitedly.

"This is it, our moment. D-Fawce is gonna eat it. We make a good team, Bee." Caprice said to Brendon, as the smaller boy held the rope which was attached to the giant bucket of glitter above the spot where Dallon and Fawcett would be crowned.

"It is my pleasure to announce this year's, uh, prom king and queen of North Gateway's first L-G-B-T-Q-A and every other letter you can think of- inclusive prom. So, without further ado... our trailblazing couple is... D-Fawce! Dallon and Fawcett!"

They walked to the stage, showered with many forms of congratulations.

"Let me know when you think they're in position." Brendon said, his hands tightening on the rope.

"Congratulations. We love you, Dallon." Melanie said as she placed the crowns on their heads.

"Thank you! Oh, my goodness. This is such a surprise!" Fawcett said into the microphone. 

"Fawcett, I want to say something." Dallon said softly, and Fawcett handed the mic over to him. "Okay."

"You're fierce!" Someone yelled from the crowd. 

"This is for you." Caprice said, grabbing a hold of the rope.

"Wait. Give him a second." Brendon said.

"We love you, D-Fawce!" Someone else yelled from the crowd.

"Look, uh, thanks, everyone, For making me king of this gay prom." Dallon began, pausing to take a deep breath.

"Oh, my god, he's doing it. He's going full Lohan." Brendon gasped to Caprice.

"I don't want to be king of the gay prom, or be a gay best friend or get gay-married. I just want to go to prom, be a friend, and get married, maybe. You all see me more as an object or a symbol. I guess I've been guilty of that myself. I used my friends as shields to hide behind." He said, sending a look towards Sarah, then towards Fawcett. "I had friends who cared about me, whether I was gay or whatever. And I had a best friend who I shared everything with. And all I want is... I mean, I'd give anything to just be his loyal sidekick again."

"Oh my god, he's talking about me." Brendon gasped again.

"Thank you very much." Dallon finished, smiling.

"Well, that's just sweeter than a pug in a sundress." Caprice said, and Brendon smiled and relaxed his arms, letting them fall by his side.. only to realize...

"Oh, no! The rope!" Brendon exclaimed. 

"Oh, my god." Caprice said.

Brendon launched himself onto the stage, shoving Dallon and Fawcett out of the way. He stumbled into the falling glitter, feeling it land all over him as Dallon was safely out of the way.

"Brendon! Jesus. Are you okay?" Dallon exclaimed, looking over Brendon's perfect outfit, hair and makeup which was now covered in glitter.

"Thought you could upstage me With a classic 'what I learned' speech?" Brendon laughed, brushing glitter off of his face. "Amateur."

So, Brendon burst out of the closet In an explosion of glitter, just like he always wanted, and Dallon got his best friend back. 

And Topher and Christian ended up hooking up.

**

"Caprice, mission accomplished?" Mackenzie asked as Caprice walked outside, to see the few people left who hadn't given up on the protest.

"Uh, not yet. Okay, y'all made your point. I made mine. Now we all have a choice. You can stay out here, bored out of your minds and freezing your asses off with this crazy bitch." Caprice said, nodding at Mackenzie. "Or you can come inside and dance your asses off with this crazy bitch." She gestured to herself. "I mean, do you really want to go heaven If it's filled with nothing but psychos like her? That's what I thought. Let's go."

Caprice led them inside, leaving Mackenzie alone.

"Suit yourselves! Run toward damnation! I'll see you all in hell! I mean, I won't see you 'cause I won't be there, but there's probably, like, a window or something where people in heaven can look down to people in hell! And I'll see you through that hell window... thing!" Mackenzie shouted after them.

So, Dallon went down in history as the first kid in the school to come out, but he definitely wasn't the last.  Because, as it turns out, the closet and high school are kind of the same thing. They're both something you can't wait to escape but are scared to death of what lies beyond. They both make you kind of insane, cause you to take on a secret identity, or make you confused... or mean... or crazy horny, even.

*

"Sweet Joseph smith, you are sexy." Topher sighed.

"You too. You're out, right?" Christian mumbled.

"For a face like yours, I'll out myself To the entire Mormon tabernacle choi.." 

*

When you're in, every little thing just seems like the hugest deal, but once you're out? Well, you wonder why you ever made such a fuss. And while things still suck every once in a while, when you finally leave both the closet and high school, everything just kind of... sucks less.

"So, now that you're out..." Dallon said, his hands resting on Brendon's hips as they swayed to the beat of the slow song that was playing.

"I am?" Brendon teased.

"What about us?" Dallon asked.

"Us?" 

"Mm-hmm."

"Well, I just..." "I was..."

They laughed as they both tried to speak at the same time. 

"No, you go first." Dallon said, smiling down at Brendon.

"I was thinking..." Brendon said, his fingers trailing up and down Dallon's chest.

"Mm-hmm.." Dallon said, smiling and subconsciously leaning down towards Brendon.

And then Brendon stood on his tiptoes and pressed their lips together, much more meaningful than the last time, when they were drunk.

Dallon smiled into the kiss, and pretty soon it was more like to people holding their smiling lips together than it was two people kissing. Brendon giggled, pulling back and keeping his eyes closed. Dallon just stared down at him, with his hair slowly falling out of its hairspray-induced freezeframe. 

"So, what's that mean?" Dallon asked

"Maybe it means we should get out of here." Brendon said, his fingers finally making their way up to Dallon's collar, and undoing the top button. Dallon blushed.

"You mean, you don't want to come with me to attend the Fawcett Brooks after-prom-party your senior year?" Dallon exclaimed sarcastically.

Brendon rolled his eyes and said, "I only need you to have a good time. Trust me, I realized that during the million years we just spent not talking to each other." 

Dallon rolled his eyes as well. "How cliche." He said.

They ended up at Brendon's house, in Brendon's bed, tangled in Brendon's sheets. And this time when they woke up, they remembered exactly what happened, and were totally okay with it. And if Brendon was a little bit sore, it was all fine. 

So, after Brendon had made his gayness official, 'Shley and Glenn won cutest couple when he came out as irrefutably straight and she came out as a total emo queen. But it took us a bit longer to convince Fawcett to come out as a chemistry nerd with a secret nice streak. Sarah won a scholarship to Sarah Lawrence after she published a well-regarded analysis of the adolescent propensity for self-perpetuated objectification. And Brendon and Caprice were voted most dramatic, which... let's face it... is basically short-hand for 'gayest'and 'bitchiest'. As for Dallon, he didn't win any senior superlatives. With all the new outings going on, his (newly established) sex life was once again the least interesting thing about him. He wasn't an accessory or a sidekick. He was just Dallon. And he couldn't have been gayer about it. Meaning that in the old-timey way, meaninf happy; not the gay way, but... yeah, that, too.


	8. Epilogue

"Dallon, I've told you a million times to stop pushing my seat all the way back so your long ass legs can have room!" Brendon said as he hoped into the front seat of his (fairly new) car. Dallon just laughed and got into the passenger seat. 

"Not my fault you can barely reach the pedals, short stuff." He teased, earning a scathing look from Brendon. 

"Fuck you." Brendon said.

"Pretty sure you've crossed that one off your bucket list, babe." Dallon said.

"I will turn this car around." Brendon joked as he drove to Fawcett's house. The three of them were going shopping. Maybe it was stereotypical, but they didn't really care because let's face it; without Fawcett and Brendon's help, Dallon would dress like shit.

"I really love you." Dallon said out of nowhere as they pulled into Fawcett's driveway, looking at Brendon. 

"And I love you." Brendon said, leaning across the console to kiss Dallon's forehead before he opened the door and got out, walking with Brendon up to Fawcett's door. 

"Heyy!" She exclaimed as she opened the door. "You two ready?" 

Brendon nodded excitedly, his fingers entertwined with Dallon's. They walked back to the car, and Fawcett gladly rode in the back seat. 

Brendon and Dallon were completely comfortable with being together, even at school. The whole 'gay is bad' thing was sort of made history, and it sort of just turned into no one giving a fuck. So they held hands in the hallway and maybe they got a few dirty looks (mostly from MacKenzie) but they didn't care. Because they loved each other, and they had an even bigger group of more diverse friends than before. 

Brendon did the school play with Caprice, and they hung out with Fawcett on a regular basis. And with Ashley and Pete being together, that meant that they saw a lot of the redhead as well. Even Sarah didn't mind hanging around the three, once she realized they were actually kinda cool. And she ended up taking Melanie on a date.

So it was pretty much your basic high school happy ending. Everything was good. And the fact that the three goddesses of the school had stepped down, meant that everything was way more chill around the halls of North Gateway. 

"I love you, Dal." 

"I love you too, Bren."


End file.
